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Originally Posted On: How to Forgive a Cheating Husband – Mend The Bond
The union of two souls is one of the most beautiful things, but marriage is also one of the most difficult. Marriages involve two people who need to be faithful to each other.
If one partner cheats on the other, the marriage faces a rough future. More often than not, a cheating husband leads to the end of a marriage.
If you have a husband that has cheated on you, you might be considering throwing in the towel. However, what if you still love him and he still loves you? Is there a chance to save things? Can you forgive him?
We want to discuss the process you need to go through to forgive a cheating husband.
How to Forgive a Cheating Husband
Coping with Your Emotions
Undoubtedly, if your husband has cheated on you, you will feel betrayed, used, and broken. You are going to feel angry and depressed.
These emotions are natural, and it is more than understandable to feel this way in the face of such a betrayal.
This is a significant moment in the relationship. This moment determines if you will try to rebuild that trust or if you are going to throw in the towel and call it quits.
If you expect to forgive a cheating husband, you first need to process your emotions. You need to identify them, and you need to acknowledge them.
Write things down, talk to friends, or talk to a counselor. However, if you genuinely want to overcome this hurdle, you first need to cope and acknowledge your own feelings.
A Healthy Release
You need to realize is that those emotions, all of that hurt and anger, aren’t going to go away. When we are betrayed like this, we often seek revenge.
You might be tempted to do something that will hurt your partner the way he hurt you. However, this won’t do the marriage any good, and it won’t make you feel better either.
If anything, it will make you feel worse because you’ve stooped to that same low level. If you want to grow personally, instead of taking useless revenge, release your emotions in a healthy manner.
You can talk to your partner and even yell at them, but you need to figure out how to deal with those emotions.
Go for a long walk, play some sports, watch your favorite movies or whatever else.
You need to find a healthy way to release that anger because if you don’t, it will be directed towards your husband, and that won’t help.
Although it may take days or even weeks, if you expect to forgive your cheating husband, you will need to calm down.
If you talk to your partner or take any action from a place of anger and confusion, it won’t help solve anything.
If you act irrationally out of anger, you are likely to make things worse. Therefore, before you do anything at all, particularly anything that involves your cheating husband, you first need to calm down. Tackling this issue needs to be done from a place of mental clarity.
Take Some Time and Space
You won’t be able to forgiver your husband if you continuously have to look at him. The process of forgiveness involves a lot of self-reflection. Moreover, our emotions don’t just disappear in a few days.
Strong emotions of betrayal and extreme anger can take weeks or even months to process.
If you need to forgive a cheating husband, you need to have some space, and you need time apart. You have to be able to process your emotions on your own time. Eventually, you will decide on your plan for the future.
You may want to sleep in separate rooms, spend some days apart, or even stay with a relative for a few days or a couple of weeks. Often time apart can do a lot of good for married couples.
It gives people a chance to realize why they love their partners and why they joined each other in marriage in the first place. You have been betrayed.
Now you need time to process, something that the “Mend the Marriage” marriage counseling program discusses in detail.
Don’t Blame Yourself
You want to forgive your cheating husband. To do this, you might be tempted to try and make the betrayal your fault, at least to a certain degree.
Saying something like “oh, he just cheated because I didn’t pay enough attention to him” won’t solve anything.
Your husband is a grown man who makes his own choices, and the betrayal is no one’s fault but his. Assigning blame to yourself won’t help you.
If you expect to forgive your husband, you first need to recognize that the fault is indeed his.
Communicate and Give Him a Chance
If you expect to forgive your husband for cheating, you need to tell him exactly how you feel and why you feel that way. Moreover, you need to make clear precisely what you need, want, and expect from him.
In other words, you first need to communicate with your husband, so all of the cards are on the table, and you then need to give him a chance to right his wrong.
If you are so angry that you are not willing to let him attempt to try to right the wrong, there is no chance at forgiveness. You need to be ready to let him try and make things right. It won’t be easy or fast, but nobody said it would.
The bottom line is that having a husband cheat on you really hurts. It’s the deepest kind of betrayal. We talked about how to forgive a cheating husband. However, don’t forget that this is your life and it’s your choice.
If you don’t want to or feel like you should forgive your husband, you don’t have to.
Suppose you want to fix things and recreate a healthy or better marriage than the one you had. In that case, we recommend checking out the “Mend the Marriage” program—an excellent self-help guide for rocky marriages.