Photo by Colin Maynard
Originally Posted On: FUNNY ADVICE FOR NEW PARENTS – Baby Shortlist
Having a baby is always a steep learning curve for new parents. On top of having to learn a whole new skill set in a matter of weeks you have to do it while getting little sleep. For breastfeeding moms this is even more tiring as you have a hungry baby to feed as well as need to pump every 3-4 hours. It’s tough but looking into your baby’s eyes makes up for it tenfold. Just remember to keep positive and always look on the bright side. There will always be funny moments and plenty of funny advice for new parents to help you along the way. So here are five, funny surprises new parents just wouldn’t see coming:
Babies see boobs everywhere! This is especially true for newborns thanks to their poor eyesight and voracious appetite. Since babies are programmed to nurse and will go to all ends in order to secure their precious nectar, you’re bound to find your little one suck your finger, lip, ear, or just about anything you put in front of it, especially when they are tired.
2. One hand band
No matter how hard you prepare nor how many carriers, swings, and other gear you buy, you will become an expert at doing many things one handed. There will be occasions when you simply don’t have the luxury of time to put the baby down or in carrier and end up multi-tasking, such as preparing a bottle with one hand while holding a hungry baby in the other. It’s both an art and a science but you will learn in no time and will be able to show off you newfound skill to friends and family
3. Phantom Crying
Yes, having a baby means you will hear your baby crying when it isn’t. You will be taking a shower or doing the laundry when suddenly you think you hear your baby cry. You rush over to check and realize he/she is sound asleep. It happens mostly when we are tired so don’t worry, you haven’t gone crazy, this is a perfectly normal part of parenting and illustrates how we are hardwired to care for our babies.
4. PhD in Poop
Parents become experts in poop. It just happens. We start by worrying about the frequency, then the color, and then the consistency of our baby’s poop. We then play detective and analyze mama’s diet (for those who breastfeed) or the ingredients in the formula. Newborn digestive systems in particular are very sensitive and it will get really fun once your baby starts eating solids. By the time your baby grows into a toddler you will have graduated from Poop U! Congratulations!
5. Pumping Iron, Baby
Unless you are a serious athlete, taking care of a baby is hard work. All the bag carrying, loading and unloading gear such as your baby’s stroller and other fun tasks will start to add up. On top of that your baby will be putting on weight quickly and soon enough you’ll find that carrying your 20 pound little nugget will help you to tone your back, forearm and bicep muscles. No need to squat with a kettle bell anymore, simply hold your little one in front of the mirror and off you go! Unfortunately, raising a baby doesn’t quite cover cardio (unless your baby is a fast crawler) so you may not be able to lose those love handles.
Ah the joys of being a parent! Little time left to eat and do many things for yourself. Besides a good quality, Greenguard gold certified crib, having a good swing is essential. It will allow you to do many of the much needed things you just wouldn’t be able to do if you had to carry your baby around in a carrier. Your baby will love it as well.
So have a look at our Best Baby Swings shortlist: